very rarely do i get over to aarwenn's blog (she's linked thru Tabitha's BlogSheNeverUses), but when I do, I typically comment. I can't help it.
Today, she did something for me in her version of Esquire's list of things every man should know. Hers: Everyone should be able to cover a mile in 10 minutes because you never know when someone will be chasing you or when you'll need to catch a ferry.
so true. This... THIS... is something that can punch my logic in the face.
Those people in movies? They are ALWAYS running from people. Running fast. And running for their lives. Screaming. Where on your exertion list is Screaming For You Life? Somewhere between "Can carry on a conversation" and "your heart is about to explode", I'm sure.
But really. I never know when someone will be after me.
What if, one night when I get off work, Crazy NoPo guy starts coming at me with a butcher knife covered in herpes and salmonella and week old bacon grease? What then? Do I run the 1/2 block that my short, stump-like legs will allow me until I just give up because I know no one in NoPo and I realize that I'm just running with no where to go? Or do I run that mile until he realizes that I'm putting up far too much of a fight for his crazy ass to really focus on and he turns around and goes after some other unsuspecting young lady?
There is no way that I can know that for sure.
There is no way I can know that I won't need to run for my life some day.
What if Bill Gates and Howard Schultz find a way to clone dinosaurs after they break into my house and steal all my amber and find that one piece has dinosaur DNA in it and they turn Washington state into their own Jurassic Park where Oregon is safe only because Monetariasaurs can't swim (thank you Columbia River!) and Idaho is safe because Corpordauns are more smarter than that and Canada is cool because their border is secure and dinosaurs don't qualify for international protection. But I'm stuck here. I have to out run a family of Monetariasaurs and Corpordauns that want my blood and my money (not to mention my soul).
There is no way I can know if that is going to happen or not.
I'm not a future teller.
I haven't a crystal ball and I haven't a Ouija board.
If I have to run like Phoebe in Central Park, so be it.
Speaking of Central Park and Dinosaurs, is Cloverfield out yet? Cause if it is, i'ma gon buy it. I think I'd be able to watch it at home.
Today, she did something for me in her version of Esquire's list of things every man should know. Hers: Everyone should be able to cover a mile in 10 minutes because you never know when someone will be chasing you or when you'll need to catch a ferry.
so true. This... THIS... is something that can punch my logic in the face.
Those people in movies? They are ALWAYS running from people. Running fast. And running for their lives. Screaming. Where on your exertion list is Screaming For You Life? Somewhere between "Can carry on a conversation" and "your heart is about to explode", I'm sure.
But really. I never know when someone will be after me.
What if, one night when I get off work, Crazy NoPo guy starts coming at me with a butcher knife covered in herpes and salmonella and week old bacon grease? What then? Do I run the 1/2 block that my short, stump-like legs will allow me until I just give up because I know no one in NoPo and I realize that I'm just running with no where to go? Or do I run that mile until he realizes that I'm putting up far too much of a fight for his crazy ass to really focus on and he turns around and goes after some other unsuspecting young lady?
There is no way that I can know that for sure.
There is no way I can know that I won't need to run for my life some day.
What if Bill Gates and Howard Schultz find a way to clone dinosaurs after they break into my house and steal all my amber and find that one piece has dinosaur DNA in it and they turn Washington state into their own Jurassic Park where Oregon is safe only because Monetariasaurs can't swim (thank you Columbia River!) and Idaho is safe because Corpordauns are more smarter than that and Canada is cool because their border is secure and dinosaurs don't qualify for international protection. But I'm stuck here. I have to out run a family of Monetariasaurs and Corpordauns that want my blood and my money (not to mention my soul).
There is no way I can know if that is going to happen or not.
I'm not a future teller.
I haven't a crystal ball and I haven't a Ouija board.
If I have to run like Phoebe in Central Park, so be it.
Speaking of Central Park and Dinosaurs, is Cloverfield out yet? Cause if it is, i'ma gon buy it. I think I'd be able to watch it at home.
RSS Feed (xml)
2 comments:
If you're worried about being able to run for your life, you might want to consider getting some shoes that aren't flip-flops. I know you think you can run for your life in flip-flops because of your long time love affair with them, but you can't. You can't run for your life in flip-flops. It's a fact.
don't you dare tell me what i can and can't do, Gina Killerswife... don't you dare. I happen to have a pair of REAL running shoes that ... are 2 years old... and still look brand new...
DON'T YOU DARE!!!!
Post a Comment