This COULD Be My Life....

What you are about to read is the best myspace bulletin I've ever posted. I think you'll know why by the time you get to the end.
Or maybe I'm just really bored and easily amused right now......
1. Opening Credits:
I Know Its You
. :Crystal Method: .
[this could make for quite the delightful spy opening.... yano... if i were a spy i mean]


2. Waking Up Scene:
Turn Me Loose
. :Loverboy: .
[oooh.... this is when The Lady Killer (thas me) wakes up and demands that her sexy and powerful (but not as powerful as she) Man Lover from the previous night "Get The Hell Out"]


3. Car Driving Scene:
Southside
. :Moby: .
[ahhh.... here we see the Rich As F>ck Lady Killer return to her roots.... on the south side of town....]


4. High School Flashback Scene:
Black & Gold (Sanna & Piltron Mix)
. :Sam Sparro: .
[Here, we can see small signs that TLK is bound for Greatness In International Espionage.]


5. Nostalgic Scene:
Happy Valentine's Day
. :André 3000: .
[The boy who broke her heart beyond repair and drove her to the loose moral aspect of her job]


6. Bitter, Angry Scene:
Machine Gun
. :Portishead: .
[TLK unleashes a world of pain in a hail of gunfire and tears....]


7. Break-up Scene:
I Need A Girl (Part One)
. :P. Diddy: .
[There once was one man.... one man who could tame her wild heart, but he just didn't understand the demands of her job and she was far too stubborn and scared to surrender her heart to him....]


8. Regret Scene:
The District Sleeps Alone Tonight
. :Postal Service: .
[She gets up after having empty sex with her latest victim and looks at herself in the freakishly flattering light of her Parisian hotel room.... Is this what she's made for? Can she continue to lead such a fabulously lonely life? She just wants to be loved........]


9. Nightclub/Bar Scene:
Policy Of Truth
. :Depeche Mode: .
[And yet, she goes out again the next night to continue her mission.... what she has declared to be her last mission. No more. She's done. She knows that in movies, this means that she's going to die because that's always what happens when spies are on their self declared last mission, but she's hoping it will be different in real life.....]


10. Fight/Action Scene:
Its My Life
. :No Doubt: .
[Oh Shit! Ninjas! In Paris! In a night club! Who would have thought it! Fighting ensues and eventually ends up as a boat chase in a tip of the hat to Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. TLK wins, of course....]



11. Lawn Mowing Scene:
Cheeba Cheeba
. :Tone-Loc: .
[... cause you must be high to think that TLK is going to be mowing her own lawn. Bitch, Please.]


12. Sad, breakdown scene:
Carondelet
. :Ruby: .
[Oh Gad.... she can't even mow her own lawn. She can speak 14 different languages fluently and she can even make a quiche blindfolded, but she can't even mow her own lawn. She may, or may not, look into a puddle on the side of the road and as God who she is....]


13. Death Scene:
Big Time Sensuality
. :Bjork: .
[its beautiful and tragic. but we all knew it was coming. we're not surprised.]


14. Funeral Scene:
Low
. :Flo Rida: .
[In a farewell to arms, all of TLK's homies from the old hood come in and her funeral turns into a good old fashioned booty shakin time. Tears are shed, words are said, but in the end, her death-- on her final mission to rid the world of those pesky Cancer causing Ninjas-- has brought those from all walks of life together. Its beautiful and you shed a tear.... a single tear....]


15. Mellow/Pot-smoking Scene:
DMV
. :Primus: .
[apparently, this is a Quentin Tarantino film and there is no respect for a basic time line. TLK is on a past mission to bust up a drug ring and, much like Keanu Reeves in "Point Break", she must befriend a group of Pot Smokin Hippies. She smokes with them but doesn't inhale. She's been spending the past 10 years on a boat off the coast of Peru working up a tolerance to THC. She then kills em all.]


16.Dreaming About Someone Scene:
Mouth
. :Bush: .
[It is for this scene that the movie has an 'R' rating.... DURTY!]


17. Sex Scene:
L'Arena
. :Ennio Morricone: .
[This is the moment. You thought she was dead but she's not. She is now re-united with The Only One She'll Ever Love while in a large public square in Spain. They make love for 3 days straight without pain or swelling. Its beautiful and tastefull and it means something. Its the best "Love" scene in cinematic history.]


18. Contemplation Scene:
Zombie
. :Cranberries: .
[This is her chance. She nearly lost him 12 years ago and now..... on the eve of her death... she must choose again. With his non-spy-but-equally-effective status and her skills and stuff, they could disappear forever the way they've always wanted... but those Cancer Ninjas..... All of Humanity, or her own heart... The eternal struggle.]


19. Chase Scene:
Ring Of Fire
. :Johnny Cash: .
[Love truly is a fiery thing..... and she has chosen it. But not without making arrangements with her trusted confidant, Professor Chang. She has entrusted to him the task of eradicating the Cancer Ninjas and their Head Honcho, Sensei Han Cho. She hops in a suped up Karmen Ghia and she and The Love Of Her Life speed off as significantly less supped up cadillacs chase after them]


20. Happy Love Scene:
Sweetness
. :Jimmy Eat World: .
[Aliens have blasted the Caddys and all is right in the world. There is kissing, hugging, loving, and Steve Perry. That's right. Steve Perry. Oh. And there's chocolate Yoohoo.]


21. Happy Friend Scene:
Sugar Sugar
. :Mary Lou Lord w/ Semisonic: .
[You may also like to know that this is also the scene where TLK, TLOHL, and all of the desert animals have a choreographed dance number that takes us to the credits. You have seen the likes of it no where before. Not even in Grease.]


22. Closing Credits:
City Of The Ancients
. :Final Fantasy 7: .
[What better way to end it than with the music from the best game ever made? Not only that, but during the point in the game where the LAST Ancient is about to be killed by Sephiroth? I mean... sure... as fate would have it, she must die, but..... what if she didn't? What if Aeris lived.... if you ask me, even if Aeris lived, I'd still have Cloud end up with Tifa.]